Conversations with Wanda
by soulful-sin
Summary: Sometimes, it's hard to let go of the past...
1. Part One

Author's Note: I stole this idea from Blue…but who knew it would turn into _this_?

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairly Oddparents.

Conversations with Wanda

Glancing up from her millionth sketch of Timmy Turner, Tootie blinked, discovering a small, pink fairy hovering about her room and glancing at her decorations. As if from another life, a half buried memory tugged, begging to be brought to consciousness. Had she known this creature before? She thought she had, but she couldn't recall.

Red rims lined the fairy's large pink eyes and she looked as if she hadn't slept properly in days. In fact, her levitation fluctuated; sometimes, Tootie thought she'd simply crash onto her plush carpet floor. However, Tootie said naught a word, just in case she'd frighten the creature away. While she maintained the silence, however, Tootie's hands switched to the back of the sketchpad and she absently started outlining the fairy's body and general shape.

Floating over to a poster Tootie had drawn, the fairy examined it closely, nearly plummeting out of mid-air. Her wings fluttered and she struggled to stay aloft. Tootie's heart leapt in her throat and she immediately abandoned the sketchpad.

"Um, I beg your pardon, but are you all right, little fairy?" Tootie inquired gingerly, gently laying pencil and book aside to jump off the bed and to her side. The instant she did, the fairy drew back, the color draining from her face. This time, she really _did _fall out of mid-air, but she was too busy scurrying to the other side of the room and searching for her wand to notice.

"I wandered into a human's room," she murmured, swallowing hard and searching around the room for something. She pressed her hands against the carpet, craned her neck around the furniture and stood on her tiptoes.

"I've exposed myself…Jorgen's going to kill me…after he takes me away from Timmy…"

"Timmy?" She squealed his name. Once a fangirl, always a fangirl.

Glancing urgently at the open window, the fairy attempted to leave, but her wings quivered and she fell back down. Panting, she tried to jump, but Tootie sprang forth and shut the window. The door was already locked and the fairy had no means of escape. She moaned, staring around the room before setting her gaze on Tootie.

"What-what do you want?" she asked cautiously, glancing from the window and beyond and then back to Tootie. She trembled, large eyes widened in fear. Tootie didn't understand why such a small, yet obviously powerful creature would be afraid of a child.

"I just wanted to know if you're okay," Tootie answered, smiling down at her. There was only a difference of an inch or so in their heights, but the creature cowered.

Shaking her head, pale as a sheet, the fairy wrapped her arms around herself and gazed once again out the window. Tootie frowned, approaching only to have her retreat, literally backing herself into a corner. Walls on either side and no one around to help her, the creature could only curl into a ball, large pink eyes quavering with the rest of her. Tootie's heart instantly went out to her.

"If you climbed out the window, you could break your leg," Tootie chided gently, kneeling. Gingerly, Tootie touched her wings, shimmering and quivering worse than the rest. They were gorgeous, iridescent and all she desired was to touch it. However, when Tootie reached her hand out, the fairy pressed her face against her knees. Whatever the reason, she was completely terrified of her.

"I'm nothing like my sister," she said, by means of coercion.

Muffled, the creature responded, "I…I know."

"And you know Timmy, right?" A grin split her face, but the creature merely nodded weakly. How she managed that while her face was pressed against her knees was anyone's guess, but Tootie had the sinking suspicion she was more likely to squeeze water from a dry rock than make conversation. For one thing, the fairy hadn't stopped shaking yet.

"Yes."

"How do you know him?" Tootie kept her tone light, not pressuring her to speak. Kneeling, however, grew uncomfortable and she sat Indian style in front of the creature, slowly calming. Warily, she raised her head, crown glowing in the sunlight pouring from Tootie's window.

"I can't tell you that."

Sighing heavily, she added, "I really shouldn't be here. I'm tired and I drifted off…if Jorgen finds out I was here…"

"Who's he?" Tootie asked curiously and then mentally winced at the creature's rising panic. She looked torn between jumping up into the air and then diving at the window and remaining, frightened Tootie might leap on her as soon as she made her escape.

"No one!" The fairy snapped quickly, abruptly springing to her feet and opening the window.

Realizing she fought a losing battle, Tootie scooped the creature up, quite against her will because she struggled madly. However, Tootie hadn't survived years with Vicky without learning how to pin someone down. Wrapping her arms around her, Tootie nearly crushed her wings against her back. The fairy ceased struggling.

"Stop…you're really hurting me…" Tears sprang to her eyes and, stunned, Tootie released her.

"I'm sorry!" Tootie exclaimed, watching her bite back sobs. The creature's eyes shone with the same amount of terror (and unshed tears) Tootie often associated with Vicky. No…this was what she'd been trying to _prevent_.

"Please…just let me go…" she begged, rising unsteadily to her feet.

"I was about to when I hurt you," Tootie smiled apologetically, darting to unlock the door. Without another word, the fairy darted out and was halfway down the stairs before Tootie could think of anything else to say.

"Wait! What's your name, fairy?"

"Wanda…" she responded, speeding up again. By the time Tootie blurted out her proposition, Wanda had left the house all together.

"If you ever wanna talk, Wanda…"

**

* * *

**

A few weeks passed and Tootie had all but forgotten about the mysterious fairy named Wanda. Other, more pressing matters demanded her attention, namely her sister making her life miserable. Whenever she thought of Wanda, she only wished to be like her, to live the life of a fairy and be free to leave whenever she wanted. It must be great being a fairy because they had _magic _and whomever wielded it could show everyone who was boss. In fact, she couldn't think of a single problem a fairy had that it couldn't solve, in one way or another.

Unfortunately, while Tootie entertained daydreams of living as a fairy and banishing her sister through magic, they lasted only a moment before Vicky piled more chores on her. By the time she had finished her latest batch, the sun had sunk low and the only thought in her head was to relax on her bed.

Flinging her door open, Tootie prepared herself to collapse on her four poster, grab a picture of Timmy and sigh happily, but the problem was there was already someone there. As a matter of fact, said someone had already collapsed between the pillows and, judging from the tremendous sobs emanating, she was already almost as miserable if not more so than her. A tuft of pink hair below a floating golden crown told her immediately, joyfully, that Wanda had returned. However, her happiness was short-lived- how could she be happy around a creature that was so sad?

"Wanda?" Tootie called softly, tentative to rouse her. Technically, Wanda _was _in her room and trespassing, but Tootie wasn't one to hold it against her. Right now, she felt as though _she _were intruding.

Swallowing hard, Tootie shifted to examine her; the pink fairy's eyes were swollen with tears. This time, Wanda clutched a wand tightly, but if she'd come here of her own volition, then she couldn't possibly be as afraid as before. Tootie took slim comfort in that.

"I…I'm sorry, Tootie. I know I shouldn't have come here, but I couldn't stay in the castle with Cosmo or float in the fishbowl with Timmy playing video games. You understand, right?" Wanda smiled weakly, but the smile did not extend to her eyes, bleak and still swimming with tears.

Her simple statement sent a thousand questions soaring through Tootie's mind and they clamored to be asked. She really hadn't wanted to bother her, but now her curiosity overcame her.

"You live in a castle in a fishbowl? Aren't you a fairy? Why would you live like that? And who's Cosmo? You live with _Timmy_?" On the last word, she emitted another high pitched shriek, much like she had the last time Wanda spoke his name, and Wanda clapped her hands to her ears in self defense.

Realizing she'd become hyper again, she forced herself to calm. Sometimes, Tootie got ahead of herself and drove people away. While Wanda was technically not a 'people', she was the most interesting creature Tootie had had the fortune to encounter in a very long time.

"One question at a time, Tootie." Removing her hands from her ears, Wanda sighed heavily and glanced out the window. Tootie had the distinct impression she was looking for someone.

"How do you know my name?" Tootie murmured, aware she was adding to her list, but curiosity overwhelmed her. Were fairies omnipotent? What was it like to have one in your house? What powers did they possess? Were they immortal?

"I know a lot of things…" Wanda replied cryptically, appearing relieved when nothing materialized in front of her window.

"Who are you looking for?"

Rubbing her temples, Wanda indicated she stop standing, gawking at her, and sit beside her. Feeling oddly nervous, Tootie selected a spot next to Wanda and examined her closely. Upon her last inspection, she hadn't gained any more sleep and, if possible, she looked even more haggard.

"Please stop asking me so many questions, sweetie. I have a headache."

Hanging her head, Tootie murmured, "I'm sorry, Wanda."

Offering her a weak smile, Wanda replied. "It's all right, _Deep Toot_."

Tootie blushed, but refrained from asking her how she knew that.

"And I was looking for my _husband_, Cosmo." Tootie stared, wondering why Wanda had spoken his name with such a vengeance. A few dozen more questions popped into her head and she had to bite her lip to shut herself up.

"He's…been a little _trying _lately," Wanda explained. "Although that's really putting it mildly."

"Was he the one…" Tootie trailed off, preventing herself from voicing another question.

With difficulty, swallowing hard again, Wanda whispered, "Yes."

"But if he's your husband, why would he make you cry?" Tootie really wished she could stop, but her mouth was running ahead of her. Despite Wanda massaging her temple again, she refrained from chiding her again. Perhaps it was because Tootie had stopped shooting questions rapid fire. Or perhaps because she couldn't talk about this to anyone else.

Sighing for the second time, Wanda met her gaze. "Because he's been flirting with my sister in front of me. In fact, I'm starting to think he'll flirt with anything with female equipment that won't slap him, isn't underage or human.

"He's insulted me to my face, insinuated that he wished he were married to the _Tooth Fairy_ instead of me or that he's _tied _down. He's acting like I kidnapped him, held a gun to his head, and then signed marriage papers. I can't even tell if he cares for me anymore or if he's staying because he can't think of any other way to spend his time. I'm some sort of television show that he hasn't got the remote to change.

"Everyone else, including Jorgen, the head of Fairy World, places the blame sorely on my shoulders. My husband may be an idiot, but I'm supposed to detect whenever he and my godson decide to wish for something dangerous and prevent it. I'm supposed to have this crystal ball and protect the world from whatever havoc they wreak. It doesn't matter if I can't, because I should have figured out a way to stop it. That's his logic- he doesn't have to care, he's not a godfather himself.

"Timmy's wishing for insanely stupid things, just because he can. I _try _to warn him that he's putting himself and anyone around in danger, but he snaps that I'm nagging too much. Whatever I say is about as important to him as it is to Cosmo- not very.

"I try and I end up shoved to the background. Nothing I do or say matters to them…"

Gazing at the bedspread morosely, Wanda hugged herself. One stray pink curl dangled over her right eye, but she made no motion to return it to the bun. Tootie's heart went out to her again, for enduring all that. She thought _she _had it hard with Vicky and Timmy not noticing her…

"I came here because I needed to be alone. I saw you doing Vicky's chores, so I figured you wouldn't be back for a while. I guess I misjudged your abilities."

Although Tootie recognized this as a compliment, she sensed there was still more lurking beneath the surface. To help Wanda along, Tootie tentatively hugged her, this time below her wings. Wanda smiled weakly, resting against Tootie's chest. Although she didn't hug her back, Tootie wasn't offended.

"I've been sneaking in here a lot for the past two weeks. Cosmo and Timmy don't think to look here, because why would I go somewhere where I might get caught? I'm sorry to be using your room like this, but…crying isn't exactly something I'm proud of…"

"He really hurt you…" Tootie whispered, not certain herself to whom she was referring. She idly stroked Wanda's curls.

"Please don't tell anyone I've been here..." Wanda murmured back, glancing at her wand and scowling. A few seconds later, she gently disentangled herself and stood, holding her wand tightly and gazing out the window again.

"You have to go." Rising to her feet, Tootie eyed the door, expecting Vicky to come bursting in now that Wanda was leaving.

"I'm afraid so, honey. Thank you…"

And with that, she vanished in a cloud of pink smoke.

**

* * *

**

Despite her comfort, Tootie didn't see Wanda for a good two months afterwards. Sometimes, when she arrived, Tootie pressed her fingers to her pillows, damp. Whatever the reasoning behind it, she started to worry. However, Tootie couldn't speak to anyone about Wanda, because the only other person who knew was Timmy and he was doing everything in his power to shove her away. What was she supposed to say, anyway? "I heard your fairy was very upset?"

After a while, though, she recognized the correlation between the pink and green animals trailing him. Pink was Wanda, often walking alongside him dully, like she'd lost heart, and green was Cosmo, ignoring the pink. Tootie had resisted the temptation to kick Cosmo many a time, not only because it'd reveal she knew Wanda, but because Timmy and Wanda might not like it. Even though Timmy resisted her, she desperately sought a way in.

Somehow, she imagined the same for Wanda. Occasionally, she trailed Timmy only to watch Wanda rub against Cosmo and then his either scratching her (if they were in cat form), throwing nuts at her (in squirrel form), or barking loudly at her. Tears formed in Wanda's eyes and she hung her head, only responding minimally when Timmy spoke to her. Months of rejection and avoidance had taken their toll on the pink fairy.

One day, Tootie was walking in the park when she stopped dead in her tracks. Wanda was a squirrel, looking like she'd love to disappear and forget her godson and husband. However, this was not what drew her. It was Timmy, pleading with her to speak to him.

"I just want to know what's going on with you and Cosmo!" Timmy snapped, frustrated. Tootie hung back behind a tree; for all intensive purposes, she was invisible. Unless Wanda said something extraordinary, she'd stay that way.

"There's nothing going on…" Wanda murmured faintly, barely audible.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Wanda. I _know _something's going on. You might think I'm selfish, but it doesn't take a genius to-" he fired, but Wanda interrupted.

"Timmy, please. I'm tired and I'm in no mood to discuss him."

"I _wish _you'd tell," he scowled, folding his arms across his chest. A surge of anger shot through Tootie's body- what right did Timmy have to order her around like that? Wanda was a fairy, not his servant. Didn't he have any respect at all?

"No." Judging by the awestruck expression on his face, Tootie sincerely doubted he'd expected Wanda to deny him. Tootie silently sided with Wanda, though- as much as she adored her pink hatted crush, he had a tendency to be brash and rude. If he couldn't see she didn't want to talk, why did he force her?

"You can't deny me a wish! That's against Da Rules!" he protested, pointing at her accusingly.

"Then tell Jorgen and have me taken away," Wanda responded softly, turning away. Both Tootie's and Timmy's mouths fell agape.

"Wanda, what's _wrong_?" Timmy exclaimed. Very gently, he reached out to touch her tail, but she jerked back as if burned. Tears shone in her eyes, but she dug her paws to drive them out.

"Why do you suddenly care? Are you afraid I'll stop granting you wishes? Are you afraid you'll stop having every single thing your heart desires?" Wanda spat, noticing Tootie. Tootie blinked; it looked like Wanda was having a mental breakdown. Whatever it was, Timmy's eyes flashed in anger.

"This isn't _about _wishes! This is about my caring about you!"

"Is it? Or is that you can't bear the thought of losing your magic totems? Do you really care about me?" Wanda said evenly, grasping her wand tightly. Tootie swallowed hard.

"Of course I care about you!" Timmy exploded. "You're my fairy godmother!"

"Then where were you months ago when I needed someone to talk to? Where were you when I was ignored and insulted? Where were you when I just wanted someone to stop caring about themselves for one damn second and think of someone else? Oh, that's right, you were with _Cosmo_, helping him. I don't need your false sympathy, Timmy."

With that, she poofed away, leaving Timmy slack jawed and Tootie sick to her stomach. She didn't like where this was heading…

**

* * *

**

When she walked into her room, she found Wanda sitting, staring blankly ahead. No tears flooded her eyes, but she figured she'd come too late to see them. Instead, she'd found the bleeding, trampled heart, still raw. Although she'd never known Cosmo personally, she hated him for doing this to her.

Cautiously, Tootie approached her. "Do you want to be alone?"

Wanda laughed hollowly. "I _am _alone. And I'm not kicking you out of your own room, sweetie."

"You look like you want your space," Tootie said, maintaining her distance.

"This is where I come to have my space." Wanda said simply, still not looking at her.

"What _is _going on with you and Cosmo?" Delicately, Tootie crossed the room to her bed and cradled her. The small fairy sighed sorrowfully, staring vacantly into space.

Slowly, her voice sounding like it came from a great distance and it didn't belong to her, Wanda responded, "Cosmo told me he doesn't love me anymore."

"_What_?" Vaguely, she recalled Wanda telling Timmy or the other way around that they'd been married 9, 895 years. How could you just drop someone like that, after all that time?

"He…said that he wishes he'd never married me and I'm just a waste of his time. He expressed a desire to pick up other women…and I…I…told him he had my blessings…"

Stunned, Tootie stared blankly ahead, much like the fairy on her lap. Wanda choked back tears.

"But what are you going to do now?" Tootie wondered.

"Wish I wasn't still in love with him…" she whispered and they fell into a heavy silence. Neither spoke for what felt like hours, but was in reality only ten minutes.

"I...I should go, Tootie…if I stay too long, Timmy might find a way to bring Vicky to a boil."

The pink fairy vanished, rendering Tootie's arms hopelessly empty.

**

* * *

**

The next time she visited her, two years had passed. Tootie had progressed beyond Timmy, finally figuring if he didn't notice her, he wasn't ever going to. Instead, she threw herself headlong into the arts and prayed they'd be her savior. Tootie was the maestro of drawing, writing, and loneliness. No one befriended her, too afraid of Vicky, and somehow, Tootie cared little. As long as she had her mind, she needed nothing else.

Wanda paled every time she saw her. Timmy, despite what she'd witnessed before, continued to express concern over her well-being, but she never answered him. She withdrew further and further, alive in the sense that she breathed and granted wishes, but nothing more.

Flinging herself on her bed like normal after two hours of after school activities and chores, Tootie nearly crushed her. While she apologized like mad, Wanda merely shook her head. She thought Wanda might have actually longed for an end, if only through death by suffocation. This thought disturbed Tootie.

"I found him with my anti fairy self," Wanda breathed, blinking furiously. "They were…well…you know…"

Tootie didn't have to ask what an anti fairy was to know it was horrible. She didn't even have to find out the rest of the sentence. There were no more words left in Tootie and no more tears left in Wanda. Wanda was empty, drained of everything that gave her joy.

"Did you tell Timmy?" Tootie said finally, listening to Wanda struggle against an outburst of some sort.

"I didn't have to. He was with me…"

"Oh."

Swallowing hard, Wanda said, "I'm getting a divorce."

Glancing at her watch, Wanda sighed. Without saying it, she simply nodded at Tootie and the pink fairy vanished again. Tootie's room was a place to crash, never to stay. At least Wanda trusted her enough to crash and burn in front of her.

**

* * *

**

Two years passed and then two more. Timmy walked around now with a green squirrel and a blue creature he apparently disliked, because he glowered at her a lot. Whenever she spoke to him, he'd give her a look to kill and then tell her in no uncertain terms that if she continued shooting off her mouth, he might be forced to take more drastic measures. He'd then mutter something about Wanda, but no one else reacted, other than Cosmo, who visibly flinched.

Wanda herself hadn't been seen since the day she last spoke with Tootie. Every so often, Tootie would look around, find nothing, and then quit searching. She honestly never expected to see the creature again- Timmy didn't either. Thanks to her absence, he was becoming sullen and moody. Tootie would empathize, but she discovered she cared little. He hadn't noticed her, despite the rest of the school trailing after her and _not _Trixie Tang and she doubted he ever would.

Opening her locker, a note fell out and fairy dust swirled around it. Curious, a now sixteen year old Tootie scooped it up off the floor and began to read.

_**Dear Tootie,**_

_**I know you haven't heard from me in four years and you won't again after this. I've decided to stop godparenting and live in exile. My divorce has left me bitter and disgusted. Don't look for me - I don't plan on returning.**_

_**However, I did want to thank you for being there for me, whether or not you were physically present. Giving me your room and letting me talk was the greatest gift anyone could have done and I appreciate it immensely. When no one cared, you were there to listen, even if you hardly knew me.**_

_**I thought I knew what love was, once upon a time. I thought I was in love with Cosmo and I guess I'll never get over him. But he got over me a long time ago and I have to deal with it.**_

_**Seeing him in bed with my counterpart shattered me, emotionally and psychologically. He left me for her…the stupider version of me. You can't even comprehend how much that hurt. And, for the most part, I'm glad you didn't try. I have enough on my plate without your sympathies.**_

_**Don't worry about me. While I can hardly say I'm happy now, I'm not there anymore. I don't have to take the abuse, insults, and everything else. I'm free…**_

_**Thank you again, Tootie.**_

_**All my love, **_

_**Wanda**_

Shutting her locker and gently storing the note for safekeeping, Tootie walked away.

**

* * *

**

Wanda stared up at the night sky and hugged her knees to her chest. Somewhere, down on Earth, her ex husband was looking at the same view. And, sometime in the past, they shared it together…


	2. The Exile

Part Two

Ripples

Chapter One: The Exile

She had no name she wished to tell the stranger. After a while, no one had asked, either. There was something cold and haunting in her pink eyes, yet oddly familiar. When a semblance of her name had started on their lips, she glowered and then vanished quickly. She was dead to the world.

* * *

She hugged her cloak tightly and wended through the crowded streets. Despite an Overlooking spell and the size of the crowd, she felt watched, oppressed. It made no sense. She had transported herself to a remote area, dropped out of normal life and became a non entity. According to Fairy World's documentation, she was dead. And this was how she liked it. 

Her father didn't know she'd divorced Cosmo. The only creatures, human or no, that knew were Timmy, Tootie, Cosmo, Anti Wanda, the judge, and Blonda. No one else needed to know. This was her problem and only she could fix it in time. Until that day came, magic and money were her companions.

None addressed her, so a name wasn't necessary. From what she had learned, telling others your name was the first step to having it sullied.

For a moment, she thought she spied Juandissimo and she froze, crouching against a wall and waiting for him to pass. Spell or not, he had a talent for ferreting her out.

Darting out when she thought he wasn't looking, she accidentally knocked into a merchant, who, despite not seeing her, cursed bitterly. Panicking, she prepared to vanish quickly, but a hand on her arm halted her. The spell had worked for everyone except the fairy she was trying to elude. All the bad luck in the world had landed on her doorstep.

"Mi amor?" Juan murmured, snatching her wand out of her fingers.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken," Wanda whispered. _I'm no one's love. _

He brushed aside her drawn down hood, revealing her lined face and weary eyes. His eyes sought hers, but she glanced away. All she wanted was to be left alone. Couldn't he see that? Why did he have to act like he _cared_?

"Wanda…" he breathed, caressing her cheek. She stiffened. She couldn't flee, not with him holding her wand. Still, there was always running. She remembered running with Cosmo...no...bad thoughts...

"Give me back my wand," she ordered, clenching her eyes shut. She wanted to crash into him and let him give her the affection and, at the same time, she wanted to shove him far away so he could never use her like everyone else did.

"No."

He pocketed it and his as well.

She shuddered, enraged, but, before she could express it, it faded away. She was too tired to be angry. Let him do whatever he wanted, no matter what. When he was done, she'd go back to her old life, staring out the window and waiting for her miserable existence to end.

"Fine," Wanda said quietly. "Don't give it back."

Juandissimo stared and the hand on her cheek froze in mid stroke.

"No, not fine," Juandissimo snapped. "Show me your spirit, mi amor. Show me that you haven't become _this_."

"I just want to get home. As far as Fairy World is concerned, I'm dead anyway," Wanda said, gazing in the direction of her tiny house. Maybe he'd stop if she looked pathetic enough. After all, she wasn't the fairy he'd fallen in love with. She wasn't a fairy _anyone_ could love.

"_No!_" he barked and, grabbing her shoulders, he shook her head enough for her teeth to rattle. "You are not dead! You are alive and you shall live!"

"Let _go_ of me," she growled, placing her hands on top of his arms and shoving him away.

"Not until you cease this charade," Juandissimo replied and Wanda glared. She was furious with him...and she didn't know quite why.

"It isn't a charade!" she retorted and the roots of her hair burned. "Give me back my wand!"

"Tell me who did this to you!" Juan snapped back and, in his pocket, a wand dangled. Seeing her chance, she dove at it. Juandissimo pushed her away, knocking her off balance. The wand fell out and he crushed it beneath the heel of his foot. The star ground against the stone and sparks flew. They sputtered and died a moment later.

"It was the buffoon, was it not? Do not defend him!" Juan hissed. A few passerby gawked, since, with Wanda's Overlooking spell, Juandissimo appeared to be arguing with the air.

"It was..." she trailed off and swallowed hard. A lump formed in her throat.

She willed herself not to cry in front of him. Crying was bad enough, but in front of him, unforgivable.

"He has hurt you," Juan remarked, enveloping her in a hug that took her breath away.

"No. We just, we just decided that it was best to spend some time apart..." she lied and, judging by the livid expression on his face, not very well, either. She trembled and balled her fists. If only for the wand beneath his foot...

"You are lying and protecting _him_, the moron that broke your heart," Juan growled, massaging her back. She jumped and glanced again toward her small house. She needed the wand...and escape...

"I, I'm not protecting him," Wanda lied again and he pulled out the remaining wand. The familiar whoosh of fairy transport yanked them both forward and she blinked, surprised Juandissimo knew exactly where she lived.

The small house was bare, save for Cosmo's picture on her night table. The white walls were bleak, complimenting her mood, and a small cot pushed against the far wall was equally unadorned.

Juandissimo growled and Wanda pivoted, noticing the Latino fairy's gaze. Shimmering heat filled the room; it set her hair on end and echoed within her. Within seconds, the photograph and its frame had been burned to a crisp. Juandissimo hadn't even used his wand.

"Mi amor, I have heard rumors that Cosmo cheated on you with your counterpart."

Wanda shuddered and clenched her eyes shut again. She remembered that all too well.

Another magical jerk brought her from her place near the door and into Juandissimo's arms. The other fairy had positioned himself on her bed; his wand laid on a nearby table. She could sense the magic, even with her eyes closed. Its lure was almost as compelling as Juandissimo's, but she refused to capitulate. She refused to be whatever he envisioned her to be. That fairy was dead now.

But the present would not let the past be. And only one source of information could have done that to her...only one dared betray her...

"Blonda..."

"Si, your sister told me."

Performing a cross between a shake and a nod, she resigned herself to her fate in his arms and gazed up at the ceiling.

Scowling at her, he toyed with her hair and kissed her on the forehead. He might as well have been kissing a wall. Except the wall was whimpering and struggling to conceal it.

"Wanda, you can cry to me," he whispered, but she shook her head. One wand remained, but that was all she needed. The thought never occurred to her that lately, all she did was hit and run.

* * *

Tootie stared at the lifeless ball of clay before her. She'd never felt less inspired. 

She wished Timmy was in this class and then wished he lived in another state. She'd never gotten over her childhood crush, no matter how much she pretended otherwise. Pretending to hate him was so much easier than 'fessing up to the fact that she'd never have him. With Trixie Tang, Tootie might as well not exist.

Thinking of that, she punched a hole into the clay. A boy sitting next to her gulped and moved away. She was Vicky's little sister after all. No one knew when she might snap. Already, there'd been several close calls. For all they knew, Tootie might go on a murderous rampage and slaughter everything in sight.

Although her mind was on murderous rampage, her hands were not. They sculpted a figure with large eyes, welled with tears, and half open arms, as if afraid to love. Tootie smiled bitterly, unable for some fathomable reason to determine why such a figure had appeared to her subconscious. She felt like she had met this unfortunate soul, but when?

She finished with a flourish, entitling the piece "Tears of a Fairy" and sitting it atop the iron shelves in the back for storage. She had an unsettling sense of deja vu and, while she gathered her things, she fixated on it. She knew this creature. But it had wings. Surely, that was impossible.

Shouldering her bag, she walked straight into her beloved antagonist, Timmy Turner. His eyes were unfocused and he muttered a name. It tugged at her subconscious, but she said nothing about it. Instead, she scowled.

"Maybe if you spent a little more time studying and a little less time chasing Trixie Tang, you'd have better grades," she snapped. "You're sixteen and she still doesn't like you. You're pathetic, twerp."

Timmy lifted his head and stared at her. The instant before he replaced misery with anger, Tootie regretted her words. She hated him for breaking her heart and chasing Trixie. But she knew, deep down, that pushing him away wasn't going to make anyone's life any easier. Unfortunately, her mouth had a different opinion.

"Says the girl that's got the half the male population trailing after her," Timmy retorted. His blue eyes flashed and he strode faster, away from her. She easily kept up the pace and he glared, dispensing another insult for her trouble.

"How many blow jobs did you have to give to accomplish that one?"

Tootie's eyes prickled with hot tears, but she wouldn't let_ him _see that. Instead she kept her head haughtily high and retorted, "All the imaginary ones Trixie never gave you."

"At least she has standards," Timmy hissed. "You'll do anyone with a cock and balls." 

"I haven't done _you_," she shot back and her cheeks flushed. Timmy didn't notice.

"That's because I'm not into sluts," he said coolly. She balled her fists and glared blindly, hoping that they'd run into Trixie and she could humiliate him in front of her. That would rob him of another brownie point in her book, supposing he had any in Trixie's book to start with.

"Then how do you explain Trixie?" Tootie said, hands on her hips. Her long raven hair brushed her waist and, beneath her hands, the hem of her black skirt swished slightly.

"She's not a know-it-all, whored-out slut like you with a bitch for a sister," Timmy snapped back. He took a step closer and Tootie noticed vaguely that they were near the principal's office. This couldn't end well.

"Leave Vicky out of this!" she retorted and he scoffed.

"Why? Because you're just like her?" he growled. "You were creepy when you were ten and now you're freaky."

"I am not a freak!" she said, raising her voice. Timmy, unperturbed, matched his level to hers.

"You service more guys than a mechanic does cars, you've inherited the 'bitch' gene, and you're just as creepy now as you were then!" Timmy snapped.

"And you're just as bratty, self centered, cocky, naive, unappreciative, rude, and stupid as you were when you were ten!" Tootie retorted, hands on her hips. By now, their little argument had gathered an audience. Timmy's eyes, however, remained on hers. So did someone else's.

"Enough!" the principal called and pointed to the guilty parties. "My office!

* * *

They proceeded to argue in the waiting room and Tootie lost track of their insipid conversation even as she participated in it. They had sunk so low, both of them. She loved him, but what of it now? It made no difference. 

In the end, they would only bring each other pain and misery if they headed down this path. Her mouth and his attitude had made sure of that.

* * *

Big Daddy paced, pink eyes shooting off warning sparks. When that idiot Binky came back, he'd have to have a very violent meeting about making fairies wait, especially over something this important. No one screwed with the Don in Fairy World. He made people's problems disappear...if they knew what it meant. 

"That _sprite_ better get here soon," he growled, randomly shooting whatever the sparks in his wand hit. A few fairies ducked for cover and he smirked. They should remember who was boss. And when Binky got back, Big Daddy would deliver that memo personally.

There was nothing left to do but sit here and wait. He had tried eating, but nothing would settle in his stomach. He had tried drinking alcohol to soothe his nerves, but, if the Mafia Don could be so easily placated, there would be less unexplained deaths in Fairy World.

Binky returned, quivering and holding out a note taken from Fairy World's filing system, containing information on the whereabouts of every known fairy in the universe. The last item in the note caught his attention.

"She's _dead_?" Big Daddy roared, his outrage shattering several vases. "My daughter's _dead_? I'll kill who's responsible for this!"

Pounding his fist against the floating table, he caused the legs to collapse. His Wanda was _dead_. He would destroy whomever was responsible for this.

And then what? What would he do? Someone had taken his beautiful Wanda away from him, just like someone had taken his wife from him...

Yet, according to the note, there had been no body. And a mysterious fairy had filed the report. She had been wearing a brown cloak with a pink curl dangling out of the hood. A pink curl...

He scanned the note again and caught something else. Wanda had quit godparenting and separated from Cosmo before 'dying'. That meant Cosmo had had something to do with this. If he had broken Wanda's heart, Big Daddy would have his head on a silver platter.

The fairy with the pink curl dangling out...While pink hair wasn't uncommon amongst fairies, Big Daddy wasn't paranoid for no reason. He knew a cover up when he saw it. He also knew heart break when he read it and if Wanda had gone into hiding because of Cosmo...

Yet, before he tackled the task of beheading Cosmo and placing his trophy atop the mantelpiece, he needed to find a more lethal weapon than what he had on hand. While he did have a great deal of impressive ones, it was always good have variety. A small market place on the outskirts of a particular city ought to do the trick.

* * *

Soft sobbing directed his attention away from a magical flamethrower and to a lake, where a fairy sat by herself near the water's edge. She reminded him of someone and he approached cautiously, just in case she happened to be a relative of a hit. Dealing with family members grated on his nerves- they were always so upset. Well, if they loved their kids, they wouldn't let them screw with the mafia. Not that hard a lesson to learn. But they were always complaining about "lack of morals and ethics", to the point where he often killed them if only to shut them up. 

The fairy's pink curls poured out of her hood and he halted, breath catching. He sat down beside her, shredding a flower into the water. Tears streamed down her face and she'd stop once in a while to hug herself. He'd never seen such a sad creature in his life. He knew those curls. He knew that sob.

"Wanda," he said sternly, placing a hand on her shoulder. She jumped before searching for her wand, already in her father's hand. He knew her well enough to tell when she wanted to flee a tough situation. He had to prevent her doing it by any means necessary; she had to know why he was here.

"I'm not-" She started, but then, touching her face, she realized her cloak had not hidden enough and her curls dangled in clear sight.

"Why did you write a false report and pretend you were dead?" Big Daddy said calmly, trying very hard not to lose his temper immediately. The hand on her shoulder increased pressure. If he lost control, he might accidentally break his daughter's shoulder blades, but, that had only happened _once_.

Wanda attempted to turn away, but the pressure was too great. She gritted her teeth and gazed at her father. There was no fear in those familiar pink eyes. If he had been less enraged, maybe he would have questioned that.

"How badly did that idiot hurt you?" he growled, squeezing her shoulder still harder. She said nothing, though her face contorted with pain. Very faintly, he heard her whimper. Still, a whimper wasn't an answer and again he squeezed, tightening his grip until she cried out.

"Daddy!"

While it hadn't accomplished what he wanted, he had learned enough here to use it elsewhere. He rose to his feet and muttered unkind things about Cosmo. While he couldn't hurt Cosmo while Wanda protected her ex husband, Big Daddy couldn't understand why she'd done so in the first place. Cosmo had clearly done nothing to deserve it.

"I want to know what Cosmo said and did that made you try to erase yourself from Fairy World's memory banks," Big Daddy said and Wanda cringed. He grimaced and, against his better judgment, switched tactics. For his next question, he spoke softly.

"What happened?"

There was silence and she said, as if speaking to herself, "It was nothing...It was all me...I wasn't good enough. I couldn't make him love me."

Big Daddy stared, stunned at his daughter's defeatist attitude. His hand slackened and, during his brief moment of shock, Wanda vanished. Flowers and tears littered the ground. One look at them and he vowed that Cosmo would never live to see another sunset.

**

* * *

**


	3. Interruptions

Author's Note: Although I'm working diligently, it wasn't physically possible for me to finish this by, well, yesterday. Cristin-chan, fortunately, understands, and I hope y'all will too.

Disclaimer: Not mine! (glomps Wanda) I wish _she _were, though…

Chapter Three: Interruptions

For the most part, Timmy Turner avoided his new godparents whenever he could. Although it sometimes meant going completely out of his way, he preferred it to meeting with his treacherous godfather and his godmother's counterpart. Neither gave a damn about him and, if Cosmo cared, he was too preoccupied with Anti Wanda to notice. By now, it suited Timmy, because he cared about nothing and no one. The whole world, including his godparents, Vicky, Tootie, Trixie, A.J., Chester, and his parents could go hang. No one cared, so why should he?

Perhaps that wasn't entirely true. Wanda had always cared about him and, no matter how many times he'd shoved her away, she continued to. That was, until Cosmo chased her away. He hated him for putting himself first and driving her into exile. More than that, he hated him for being stupid enough to let her slip from his fingers. She'd _loved _him; how could anyone throw away love?

Today, he hadn't been lucky enough to escape them. Throwing his bag onto the bed, he glanced up to find them playing a game in the corner of his room. He wished they'd find some other place to live, because seeing them there brought his blood to a boil. Everything about them disgusted him; the bile rose in his throat looking. Sometimes, Cosmo irritated him to the point where he thought he might be physically sick.

Sullen, Timmy glowered at his new godparents, Anti Wanda and Cosmo. Truth be told, he couldn't tolerate either one of them, especially now. Cosmo was openly mocking his ex wife and, like the moron she was, Anti Wanda chimed in. The whole thing disgusted him, especially because now more than ever before, he needed Wanda to talk to. No one else would listen to him or comfort him. He'd ceased being important.

"And then-" Cosmo started, but Timmy interrupted.

"What the hell is your problem?" He snapped coldly, eyes ablaze.

"Don't you have any respect at all for the creature that loved you for over ten thousand years? She went into exile because of you!"

"Exile?" Cosmo repeated, blinking. "What do you mean?"

"That's what her note said. And she told me that she was as good as dead, whatever_ that_ means."

Weakly, Cosmo protested. "I didn't want her dead..."

Timmy glowered. "Then what did you want? She's still in love with you, you idiot!"

Technically, he had no evidence of this, but he also had no evidence to the contrary. And, from the little he knew of her, he sincerely doubted her own loyalties were as fleeting as his. If she'd flung herself into exile, then Cosmo must have hurt her considerably. It _wouldn't _have hurt if she no longer loved him. By his reasoning, if she'd given up on him, she'd return home. However, he hadn't seen heads or tails of her and it disturbed him.

"She _was,"_ Anti Wanda said suddenly. "Then I heard she died."

Both Timmy and Cosmo's mouth's dropped. Cosmo abruptly lost all the color in his face and clutched his wand. No words came out, but he stammered nonsensically. Timmy sincerely hoped he was sorry, because if he wasn't, he'd make him that way soon enough.

However, Wanda dead was a low blow. Timmy couldn't imagine a worse fate- trapped forever here with these nitwits who couldn't godparent their way out of a paper bag. A great lump rose in his throat and he turned away, wishing to cry but not in front of them. He'd loved Wanda...but no one else had...

Without another word, he ran out the door, down the stairs, and fled his house. Little did he know he would run into Tootie along the way...

**

* * *

**

She found him weeping inconsolably, his head pressed against his arm. She was tentative to touch him- after all, he'd ignored her for the past six years. Why should she care about him? Still, she sensed it was fate bringing them here and if so, she had no business playing around with it.

"Wanda..." Timmy moaned and Tootie jumped.

"What about her?" She whispered, sitting beside him. Timmy ceased crying to jump up, stunned, and gaze at her with his mouth open. Too many shocks today.

"How do _you_ know-" He started.

"Never mind that. What about her?"

"I want to know how you-"

"Shut the hell up and tell me!" Tootie roared, rising to her feet as well. "She may be your fairy godmother, but I knew her too and I need to know!"

"She's not my fairy godmother anymore..." Timmy replied bleakly. "She's not even close...she...she's..."

Swallowing hard, he spoke what he didn't dare believe, "She's dead..."

Tootie's stomach dropped straight out of her body and instead of intestines, worms crawled. For a moment, the world spun before her eyes. While she could fathom Timmy's misery about Wanda's death, the thought Wanda could be dead threw her as well. And, given the amount of crying her ex crush was doing, it must have destroyed him. He wasn't even bothering to shade himself from any passers-by, either.

"Are...are you sure?" Tootie whispered, awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and buried his head in her chest. Heat rose in her cheeks- one of the things she'd wanted so badly in her earlier years, and a vague longing throbbed. No...it couldn't be. He'd chased after Trixie Tang for years and she was ready to give up on him noticing her, but she still wanted him?

"I...I don't know...but if I have to live with Anti Wanda and Cosmo any longer, I might join her," Timmy muttered darkly. "I didn't think it was possible to be stupider than Cosmo."

Tootie laughed hollowly, uncertain of Cosmo's intelligence. All she knew was he was a lying, cheating bastard and she'd much rather _he _was dead than his ex wife. He deserved to die horribly, too. In fact, the sooner, the better for him. She'd go prepare the battle axe.

"Wanda was the only creature that listened to me...and I took her for granted. She was the only one who loved me..." Timmy whispered, tears forming again. He clutched her tightly, as though afraid _she_ might vanish on him too. Once again, she blushed deeply.

"_I_ love you," Tootie murmured, unaware at first she'd said it or simply thought it. However, when he raised his head and gazed openly at her, she figured she must have uttered it. Sometimes, she detested her big mouth. Although she hardly had the stupidity and verbal diarrhea of Vicky, she had a tendency to say too much, even now.

"I thought you gave up on that stuff years ago," Timmy snapped, unconsciously rejecting her. The godmother he'd loved abandoned him, so why should he waste his time loving anyone else? She'd just have to go away too.

Bereft of any proper response, she snapped, "Fuck you."

Then, without another word, she sauntered off, tempted to punch him in the gut when she passed. What good did it do to think about Wanda, anyway? The past was the past and no one could change it. If Wanda was dead, well, and as tragic as that was, she was part of Timmy and if he was going to be such a dick all over again, she wasn't interested in anything to do with him.

**

* * *

**

Juandissimo, idly watching his godson connive his way out of various tasks and woo girls, discovered ridding his mind of Wanda proved more difficult than he'd previously thought. Whenever he shut his eyes, however briefly, he saw her haggard face before him. Anger surged through him- when he got his hands around the neck of that buffoon, he would give him enough incentive to never hurt his Wanda again. Murder, though rarely an option for a lightsided fairy, suited him perfectly. How else to hammer his anger home?

Remy glanced up at him briefly, disguised as a purple peacock, and then shuffled off. As godchildren aged, they required their godparents less. Personally, sometimes he felt Remy could do better on his own, but he wasn't happy enough to qualify for his release. Therefore, he remained, sticking close to Remy as an excuse at times to spy on Timmy and the wretched excuse for a fairy Cosmo was.

Take today, for example. While he maintained a comfortable distance from Remy, just in case he needed him, he strutted over to the park and halted, spotting a familiar figure on the bench. Timmy Turner had his face pressed against his arm and sobbed, his chest heaving. Juan blinked, stunned into staring. Given his apathy recently, what could have motivated him to suddenly display such emotion? He might be paranoid, but he was tempted to chalk it up to Cosmo and his treacherous ways.

"Wanda…" Timmy sobbed, in between gasps. "She can't be…no…"

Fighting a strong urge to expose himself and ask what on earth was wrong, he instead shuffled a few paces closer. Besides, Timmy interested him only as long as he was tied to Wanda. He could perhaps use him to lure Wanda back to Earth. It was certainly worth a shot, at any rate. She might not want to deal with Cosmo, but her godson was the reason she'd lived there to begin with. And if she was half the godmother he thought she was, she'd realize how badly he needed her.

"She can't be dead…she can't…"

_So he thinks she's dead along with the rest of Fairy World. I did not think she was truly dead, because I refused to believe it as well. That is why I sought her out…but he does not have that option._

_Si, he needs her more than anyone else and she is in exile over that **waste**. I must tell her…if she'll let me. _

Tensing up, ready to poof off, he paused briefly to think, _Worry not. Hopefully, help is soon coming…_

**

* * *

**

Hugging her always present cloak to her chest tightly, she gazed down at the still waters, shifting only slightly in the breeze. Ripples traveled from one end to the other, and she observed, transfixed. One little ripple in turn affected others vastly. In fact, one that seemed so small disrupted so much.

"Good afternoon, mi amor," Juandissimo purred, sitting beside her at the brook. She jumped up as if stung and grabbed her wand, preparing to take off. Most of her conversations revolved around him and his persistence. No matter how many times she ran away, he always came back.

"I'm not your love anymore," Wanda said coldly. "So just give it up before I hurt you."

"I don't think you will." He replied swiftly, caressing her face. For a split second, desire crossed her face- she wanted to love and be loved. If he was going to pay attention to her, love her, and perhaps even more, then he had her attention. Conversely, she didn't want it. She wanted the nothingness of solitude and the gift of death. How swift it would be, to destroy herself, but she wasn't that type of fairy. Instead, she'd hang on until the ropes broke and she slipped into the darkness. At least there, she'd be secure.

"Stop," she ordered, raising her wand to glow threatening in front of his face. "I went into exile to _avoid_ fairies like you, who pretend they care."

"Si, and you are not doing so well there, mi amor. Can you not recall the ones you left, who really did care? They might have been few, but they were there. Do you not remember Timmy?" At his name, the color drained from her face and her wand arm collapsed to her side. She _had_ been suffering guilt pangs, but she hadn't known quite what to do about it. Somehow, she thought he thinking her dead would help him. Maybe it'd give him peace.

"Your godson has been crying over your supposed death. I have found him crying your name."

Swallowing hard, the guilt nearly overwhelming her, she murmured, "I couldn't have...he should have forgotten..."

"But he did not," Juan replied softly. "Nor should you."

Godparents made a pact with their godchildren, whether it was realized or not. They could not abandon their godchildren in full conscience much like real parents who loved their offspring could bring themselves to do. Wanda was not the type of fairy to blindly forget those in need, no matter how much she herself ached. He only hoped he could remind her of others that cared about her. She was not alone.

"Maybe I could just pop in there and check on him, then vanish again," Wanda blurted, suddenly fascinated with the surface of the glassy water. Watching the waves took her mind off what she'd left behind and what could not bear to contend with again. In the night, they rolled along, whispers of peace in the darkness. She recalled sleeping by the shore once because it soothed her.

"No. He must talk with you, Wanda, not have you disappear on him again. If you are to visit him, then you must truly swallow your pride and go. Can you do that?" Juandissimo murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder and watching her hypnotic gaze upon the water. An unpleasant thought struck him and he shook his head, trying to dispel it. Wanda was _not _that type of fairy. Whatever the reason, the waves soothed her. They were not there to destroy her.

Still, removing her from these dreary surroundings might do her a world of good. Alone, she focused on herself and her loss, but when she was with Juandissimo, sad though it was, she had to focus on avoiding him instead of thinking about Cosmo. It was a slight change of topic, but the more he lured her out into the open, the better off she was. It did not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Abruptly, she opened her eyes, pain filled, and gently shoved his hand aside. Her hand was on her wand and he entertained little doubt she wouldn't visit her godson. Wanda knew her obligations same as he. She could not ignore Timmy now. Regardless of her personal qualms with the pathetic one, he failed to figure in here.

Sliding away from him, she whispered, "It's all my fault..."

"No!" Juandissimo growled, snatching her by the shoulders. "It is not!"

Smiling weakly, wistfully, she placed her wand between them and backed away. Placing her cloak over her eyes yet again, she poofed off. Her words still rang in his head…..'it's all my fault….' He would kill Cosmo for causing her to place the blame solely on her shoulders and not the rightful fairy.

**

* * *

**

By a stroke of luck, she found him staring at the wall and sitting in his room alone. Her entrance was silent and she examined him and his surroundings. Everything was dark, depressing, including the teen on the bed. Was this what had happened in her absence? Had she really caused all of this? She was the worst fairy in history...

"Tim-Timmy?" Wanda whispered, descending to sit at the far end of his bed. Her voice trembled as her conscience reminded her of the selfishness of her actions. Tears threatened to blind her, tears she desperately ground her fists into her eyes to avoid. She was stronger than this.

He didn't respond. Presumably, he ignored her, since, if Juandissimo was correct, he probably found her to be an apparition. His next statement confirmed this.

Under his breath, he muttered, "Now I _know_ I'm going insane. Wanda's dead, remember?"

"Only legally, sport." Smiling weakly, she poofed to his lap, where he couldn't possibly ignore her. Even there, he avoided her gaze. Perhaps because of the cloak over her eyes, but she doubted it. Surely he recognized her voice.

Sighing softly, she threw the hood back and her haggard face took in his. Now, regardless of the physical impacts of depression, he could not deny her existence. She might look like death warmed over at times, but the important thing was she was actually present. Now, to force Timmy to see that…

Her pink eyes bored into his, but he continued to ignore her. Her hopes of his noticing her soon faded and she flopped back on his bed. Black covered the ceiling, much like the teen. He reminded her of her own 'death'.

She whispered, "I really screwed up this time, didn't I? I made Cosmo stop loving me...I turned Timmy into this..."

Suppressing a shudder, she rose suddenly into the air. "I was better off pretending I was dead...at least then, I could accept the blame."

Timmy turned in her direction and stared openly. While he couldn't believe his fairy godmother was anything more than an apparition, he also couldn't believe she'd be taking the blame for this. It sounded eerily like her...and so he finally spoke.

"This isn't your fault, Wanda. It's Cosmo's for hurting you." _Why doesn't she understand that? Is that why she went into exile? She thought she caused him to cheat on her? _

"No...no, it's not...I should have been better...I should have made him love me..." Breathing deeply, she settled back down, prepared for a very awkward conversation. Gingerly, he reached out and touched her. He nearly jumped again, stunned to discover not only didn't his hand go through, but she was actually alive. She hadn't been lying...

"You're-you're supposed to be dead," Timmy whispered, squeezing her arm (painfully, she might add) and finally hugging her so tightly, all the air escaped from her lungs. Juandissimo hadn't dared hug her this tightly and other than him, no one else dared touch her before then after Cosmo...

"There were times when I wanted to be," Wanda murmured, unaware of what she was saying until it escaped her. Guilt overrode her and she jerked away, sensing she was teetering on the edge of revealing something best left unsaid. Memories of sobbing in Tootie's room struck her- there was no way she was returning to that. If she was going to cry, it would be _alone_, without the chance of losing it in front of someone who always thought her strong.

"_What!"_ Timmy cried, tempted to shake her but only holding her tightly in response. "No...Wanda...I love you..."

Her words chilled him to the core. Wanda never gave up, even when it seemed hopeless. Hearing her sound so defeated, so pathetic, it frightened him. Cosmo hadn't just divorced her, he'd _broken _her. How could the fairy trembling in his arms be _his _Wanda? How could she feel so weak?

Those three words stunned her in both their simplicity and the ease in which he'd said it. The last time she'd heard them, well, the thought didn't bear proceeding with. Still, from his point of view, she didn't think he was lying to her. He truly did love her. Unlike Cosmo, he wouldn't leave her because his interest passed.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the telltale poof, one she used to accompany. All the color drained from her face and she immediately pushed at Timmy. No, she'd overstayed her welcome. Remaining here would mean talking to _him_ and she'd rather ingest poison than deal with the mistake she'd forced him into. Not to mention facing him meant facing her anti form, a creature she now loathed with a passion matched only with her hatred for herself.

"I'll come back and visit," she offered feebly, snatching her wand and preparing to vanish quicker than you could say "Abra-Catastrophe". She couldn't stay...too much pain...

"NO!" Timmy screamed, terrified she wouldn't come back. After all, she'd vanished for such a long time, and he'd thought her dead...he couldn't bear the thought of losing her again. If she vanished, he was going to jump alongside her.

"I...I have to..." She whimpered, noticing Cosmo noticing her for the first time. She felt nauseous.

"Wanda?" Cosmo called and she winced. There were too many ways for him to use her name and she remembered all of them.

"Don't...use my name. You've gotten it dirty."

Of course, that particular remark drifted over his remarkably small brain. Instead, he peered at her as though he'd never seen her before and approached her cautiously. Timmy looked as though he'd dearly love to murder his godfather and smash him against the nearest window. He'd be damned if his godfather drove his godmother away.

"I thought you were dead," Cosmo whispered, reaching out to her. She cringed, instinctively recoiling into her godson.

A painful lump rose in her throat. Glancing from her ex husband to her godson, she gripped her wand hard enough it dug into her palm and prepared to poof off. _He _was the reason everyone thought she was dead. _He _was the reason she wished she'd never told Blonda anything, never spoken to Juandissimo. If Timmy eventually forgot about her, then he'd forget the misery of his childhood. She shouldn't have come back.

"I wish I was," she spat, willing herself to vanish. However, the instant she nearly poofed away, Timmy clutched her tighter and instead of one fairy returning to Fairy World, there was one fairy and one human.

**

* * *

**

Somewhere along the line, although she couldn't fathom why it took so much out of her, she passed out on the way to Fairy World. Only a voice screeching her in her ear brought her back long enough to transport them all the way. What on earth had drained her so quickly? Normally, the only thing that exerted that much energy was carrying a human to Fairy World…but why would she do that? She'd run away from Cosmo and Timmy…Timmy…

Panting, the world swirled around her and she sunk gratefully into darkness. If she never recovered, she'd be a very happy fairy. Of course, such things were never meant to be.

**

* * *

**

"Wanda!" Timmy screamed, shaking her. His godmother lay peacefully, curled up around her wand. The thing was, she lay so peacefully, he thought she really _was _dead. Vaguely, he recalled her saying when he was ten about how much magic it took to transport a human to Fairy World and he sighed guilty. If he weren't terrified of losing her, he wouldn't have done it.

Gently, trying his best to swallow his panic, he rolled her over and observed her breathing, shallow and quick. He didn't know whether to be relieved she wasn't dead or frightened she would be soon. While he knew next to nothing about fairies or humans in terms of health, she was clammy and her eyelids fluttered. Her heartbeat was erratic, too, and he was having a hard time not panicking. He couldn't have killed his godmother by piggy-backing, right? Oh, he hoped not…

"Wanda!" Timmy screamed again, frowning at the thought of doing what they do with people drowning and push on her chest. A blush spread across his face- while this wasn't his mother, it was still someone like her. Therefore, her chest was clearly off-limits. However, what else was he supposed to do?

"Leave me alone..." Wanda moaned, rolling over onto her side. "Go away..."

Panic stricken, he lightly pinched her cheeks, waxen and clammy. At least now he knew she was conscious, but he could tell he was going to have one hell of a time forcing her to full attentiveness. While he thought about ways to restore her, she clutched her wand to her chest and curled into a fetal position. He winced, wondering how he could touch her with her weapon out.

"Wanda, it's _me,_ Timmy." Desperately, he pinched her cheeks again and she opened her eyes, narrowing them. Cautiously, she unfolded her legs, sat up, and gave him a crude look. Then again, he probably deserved it, given his choice selection of rousing her. Her wand remained clutched to her chest, as though she were afraid someone were about to attack her. He wondered briefly if the cloak held more weapons he had yet to see, then decided Wanda wasn't the type to be packing 'heat'.

Opening her mouth, she decided against it and closed it again. Sighing heavily, she jumped off the bed only to fall, too dizzy to stand or float. The world swam before her eyes. Too much magic…he'd drained her by jumping along…her chest constricted…

Chest heaving, she rested against the side and wearily gazed up at her godson, pale. Loath though she was to admit it, he'd cornered her, plain and simple. She hadn't enough magic to escape, or even enough strength to flee the room. By jumping her, he'd sealed her fate. She had to talk about whatever Timmy wanted…or else pass out. But passing out and returning to unconsciousness was not preferable, simply because she couldn't recover fully there either. She was in a bind.

Delicately, like porcelain, he scooped her up and cradled her. One hand stroked her hair and the other clutched her to him. Pacing her breathing prevented her from at least fainting in his arms. She felt so terribly weak right now, as though the faintest wind might send her soaring through the air. Timmy's strength overpowering her didn't help in the slightest. With all her heart, she loathed being weak- part of why she blamed herself for Cosmo's cheating. Admitting she was powerless to stop it took strength from her.

"Wanda…" Timmy murmured after a long silence. "Why do you think this is your fault?"

_Why did you have to start with such a difficult question? Why do you care so much all of a sudden? Why can't everyone just **leave me alone**?_

Laying her head, resigned, against his chest, she murmured, "What do you want, sport? The truth? Or the lies that help you sleep better at night?"

Lies _did _help someone sleep better at night, she mused. When she thought Cosmo still loved her, she could snuggle down in her bed and wake up to the insults a little easier. When her world had crashed around her and the subsequent days, weeks, months, and years later, the truth gave her many sleepless nights, wondering what she'd done wrong, why he didn't find her attractive anymore. It never occurred to her to blame someone else, like him, because if he didn't find her attractive, then it must be _her_. She'd done everything to make herself look attractive, but he'd lost interest quickly.

Perplexed, he tilted her head up and she blinked back tears, recalling the nights afterwards. He wanted the truth, what she'd avoided telling anyone because it was too painful to admit to herself, much less to another. That was why exile worked, because she only had herself. Of course, her sister had to go and ruin that, by blabbing to anyone within earshot. Didn't she understand if Wanda wanted so badly to be dead that she listed herself deceased, she wanted to be _left _alone?

Brushing away errant tears that obstinately refused to be bitten back, Timmy murmured, "I want your truth. I don't want you to safeguard him. I want to know why you went into exile and tried to kill yourself."

Wanda whispered, "Killing yourself and listing yourself as dead are two different things, sport. Living in exile and the afterlife are two different things as well. Cosmo might have broken my heart, but I'm too strong to simply throw in the towel and finish myself off. You should know that."

He nodded, but she had the sense he wasn't going to simply leave it at that. Prodding, he asked, "And why did you go into exile?"

Sighing heavily, exhaustion nearly overwhelming her, she replied, "Isn't that obvious? Why would any creature go into exile if not to be alone? My letter should have explained that."

"Your letter explained nothing." Timmy snapped, exacerbated.

"Then you weren't reading it carefully," Wanda shot back coolly, hating where this conversation headed. As soon as he asked her about Cosmo and why she'd overreacted (if she had), then she'd do her best to escape. It was preferable to reopening old wounds that had never quite healed properly.

"Why won't you tell me?" He retorted, frustrated. Why did it seem like prying her secrets from her was like prying open a clam? Every time he broached the subject, she'd shudder and test her limbs to see if they would work in a quick escape. Fortunately for him, she was too fatigued yet to fight. He just had to hope it would last until he maneuvered past her defenses.

Because the last creature I took confidence in lied and betrayed me. I let him in and he shattered me. Why should I open myself to you, a human that I'll have to leave eventually anyway?" And the dragon whispered, 'All things die in time...'

"I promise I won't hurt you." He murmured, stroking her face. Wanda kept silent. Containing his temper was becoming increasingly difficult. How could anyone deal with this? He wasn't sure who he was angrier at, her for maintaining her frigidity or Cosmo for causing it. Right now, it was definitely the fairy in his arms.

"You can't promise that."

This time, he couldn't help the growl that escaped him. Fury surged through him- what was she trying to do, infuriate him? If she was, he was well on his way. He'd never known any creature (other than Vicky) to be _this_ maddening.

"Look," he said through clenched teeth, "I know that _you're _stuck here because I drained all your magic. I know _I'm_ stuck here because until you recover, I have no way home. And we _both_ know you're cornered and you have no real choice here. So quit fighting me."

Wanda swallowed hard. Despite her godson's previously noted lack of intellect, he had a point. Only closing her eyes stopped the world from spinning and her chest felt like it was on fire. Struggling would only mean recovering later than sooner. Besides, he could pretty much do whatever he wanted while he had her like this. She had no options.

Wearily, she murmured, "You want the truth? You want to know why I ran away? Because I can't stand the thought of anyone knowing I'm in pain. That's why I left you a note instead of telling you in person. That's why I went into exile. I can deal with myself far better than anyone else can."

"That isn't true..."

"Oh, it isn't? Since when are you such an expert on me, Timmy? Since when is _anyone_?"

Well, maybe no one is because you don't let them in." He retorted, folding his arms across his chest and scowling down at her.

"Look, I know Cosmo hurt you-" As soon as he spoke it, he also realized it was an understatement. Saying Cosmo had hurt her was like saying receiving an F as a final grade would bring down your average. Timmy had never claimed to be particularly articulate.

"You _know_? How? Do you know how _much_ he hurt me? Do you know what it's like to trust someone absolutely and then have them betray you? Do you know what it's like when that person has been your lover for over ten thousand years? You know nothing."

Flabbergasted, he stared blankly at her. She trembled in his arms again, but it wasn't for the same reason as before. The dam of emotions had been building and building, and, with Timmy acting as the catalyst, she finally exploded. (This is why it's never safe to contain your emotions for years, even if you are immortal).

"You don't _know_ what it's like to wake up next to someone who wished you were someone else. You don't _know_ what it's like to try to become whoever they want, only to have them tell you they don't love you anyway. And you still love them, worthless though that is. You know your love counts for nothing anymore, but you can't abandon them. You think you're needed and as long as you're needed, you can stay.

"You make up excuses why you should stay and take the insults, the abuse. They might not make any sense to anyone but you, but that's all right. You don't plan to expose your soft underbelly to anyone, anyway, so your reasoning being defunct matters little. All that matters is somewhere, somehow, you're needed.

"Then, when you find out you're not, that you wasted all that time trying to bring him back and have someone give a damn, it's like the earth collapsing beneath your feet. You realize all the reasoning in the world won't save you from the fact that you couldn't stop it from happening, because it's all your fault-"

"It's _not_ your fault," Timmy murmured. "You have to stop blaming yourself."

Continuing on, pretending she hadn't heard him, she said, strangely high pitched, "You realize you have to get out of there before you really lose it. And that's why I left, Timmy."

Throat constricted, she whispered, "Do you think I'm a coward? Because I ran away from you and _him?_ Because I preferred to fake my own death than deal with what I'd caused?"

Shoving her to the bed a bit harsher than he'd intended, he glowered down at the small pink fairy, eyes swimming with tears. She hugged herself, hanging her head. He could see the self doubt and blame almost palpable, nearly drowning her. She'd twisted this so she wouldn't have to blame _him._ Maybe if she took the rap, she wouldn't have to feel so powerless.

"Listen to me," Timmy growled, lifting her head up so she'd be forced to look at him. "This _isn't _your fault. It was _never_ your fault. Cosmo's a dick, okay? It wasn't because you were unattractive or if you 'nagged'. It was because he can't concentrate on anything longer than five seconds!

"He played you and you keep protecting him, _why?_ What's the point? Let him get what he deserves, Wanda. I'm not entirely sure what that is, but it has to be substantial."

Softly, cupping her chin in his palm, he leaned forward and murmured, "_Why_ won't you blame him? Because if you do, then it means you couldn't have stopped him?"

Surprising them both, she snapped, "Yes! Because that means I was powerless to do anything and nothing I could have done would have worked! I could have changed him-"

"You _couldn't_ have changed him. You should know that by now. And you weren't powerless, Wanda. That's like calling you helpless. You _did_ something-"

She laughed hollowly. "Far too late. I exposed myself to a human before I did that."

"Human? What are you talking about? I'm the only human that knows about you, _right_?"

Fidgeting like a small child that knows it has done something bad, she avoided his eyes. Timmy's anger wouldn't be pretty when he discovered what she'd accidentally done and then made no attempts to rectify. Especially when it came to something as foolhardy as revealing herself and risking him losing her. Distantly, she smiled weakly, recalling he _had_ lost her anyway, but not because of her.

"Tootie knows," Wanda murmured, bowing her head again. Before she could explain further, he exploded. If he were a magical creature, everything in the room probably would have spontaneously combusted or otherwise been destroyed, but instead, his temper took root. His blue eyes flashed furiously and he punched the wall. His teeth ground and his fists pounded the cement a few times; she watched the plaster fall detachedly.

"Tootie!" Timmy hissed, beating the wall. Wanda suddenly thought of Jorgen pounding them.

"That little bitch! Whore! Slut! Ho!"

"I get the point, Timmy," Wanda snapped, but he wasn't done. Far from it, actually.

"Cunt! Cocksucker-"

"Watch your language, young man! I don't appreciate it at _all_," Wanda snapped, grabbing her wand, glowing faintly. She had a little magic back, good.

"Piece of shi-" He started, but she held up her wand and zipped his mouth. She gave him a rather cold look. Vulgarity usually disgusted her and the abundance from her godson irritated her, especially considering who it was directed at. She hadn't the faintest clue why he hated her so much, but until he calmed, she wasn't going to ask. He clearly had lost control of himself.

"Until you can speak _properly, _remembering I am your fairy _godmother_ and _not_ Chester or A.J., you don't have the privilege of speaking. Are we clear?" Her eyes narrowed, waiting him for nod affirmatively, which he did, glowering just the same. Personally, until he recomposed himself, she cared little how he felt about it.

"I told Tootie because I accidentally drifted into her room- and don't think that, young man. You're in _enough_ trouble for mouthing off." Sullen, he glowered, wondering how the hell she know he was thinking 'likely story'. Sometimes, he wondered if fairies could read minds, then he decided they couldn't, because otherwise, Cosmo and Wanda would still be together. It had to be from her being a godmother for so many years and understanding human nature.

"She lent me her bedroom to release my pent up emotions when no one else would-"

Frowning, she corrected herself. "No, when I wouldn't let anyone else see me. She was there when I needed her...which is why I don't understand why you're so down on her? What on earth did she _do_ to you?"

Cautiously, she unzipped one side of his mouth. Having a zipper for a mouth was rather painful, since metal bound to the skin and shifting the zipper tugged on it. Therefore, if he'd tried to unzip it entirely, he would have ended up screaming, because his chin and cheeks would have started to bleed. She hadn't any recourse, though. What was she supposed to do, let him mouth off?

"I hate her because she's-" Holding up her wand, she silenced him again, stealing his voice. Timmy clutched his throat and mouthed wordlessly at her, but no sounds came out. Hmm, always a useful spell. She really ought to use it more often.

"_Before_ you shoot off again, let me lay some ground rules down. You are not to conjecture on what you_ think_ she's doing. You have no proof she's promiscuous and I sincerely doubt she is. Therefore, if you accuse her of being a 'slut' and have no evidence, you'll lose your voice. If you say anything you don't know for certain, then you'll lose your voice. Are we clear?"

Under his breath, he murmured, "Sounds like I'm going to be losing my voice soon."

"Now, why are you so angry with her?"

"Because she's a-" He burst out, but she held up her wand warningly.

"Be mindful of your words, Timmy."

Fuming, he retorted, "I hate her because she's such a bitch! Every time I try to have a conversation with her, she suggests I'm sleeping with Chester and pisses, I mean, irritates me. It's like no matter what I say, she always twists it around-"

"Did you try asking her _why_ she's behaving strangely?" Narrowing her eyes, she scrutinized him.

"Because she's, because she..." He faltered. Quite honestly, he'd never asked her and under her gaze, he quailed. She seemed to perceive through his lies like they were nothing. Her perception was uncanny.

"Because you rejected her and she's defending herself by shoving you away? By acting nasty, she hopes she won't be hurt again? Tell me, Timmy, did you ever think about why she changed or did you just not care?" This time, it was his turn to hang his head shamefully. It'd been a while since she'd chastised him, but in retrospect, he'd always deserved it. He _hadn't_ thought of her at all, just how angry Cosmo and Anti Wanda made him. He'd only focused on himself.

"Maybe she needs someone to actually care about her-"

"She has followers who like her because she's so_ pretty_," Timmy spat and she narrowed her eyes. Rising into the air, she placed her hands on her hips and fixed him with a cold look. Why on earth did it take so long to hone the lesson home? Had he always been this pigheaded and she'd forgotten?

"Followers and friends are not the same thing and I did not unzip you to be interrupted. Either bide your tongue or lose it. It's that simple." Gliding around experimentally, she discovered her powers had returned to her. Good, then she had one more thing to do. She only hoped she could trust Timmy to stay here and not cause any trouble in her absence.

"I'm going to get her and you two will have a conversation, not a series of accusations." Folding her wings to her body majestically, she poofed away before he could object (or curse bitterly).

* * *


	4. Forever and Ever

Disclaimer: Not mine…and I finally finished…I think I'm going to concentrate on other stories now…

Chapter Four: Forever and Ever

Wanda had scarcely returned for a second before darting off again, her skin disturbingly pale. For the split second he saw her, her wings fluttered madly and her face was flush. Transporting both Timmy and Tootie exerted more magic than she was used to expending, even with Cosmo, and she wanted nothing more than to collapse. If either of them needed her, they could call. Otherwise, she would faint at the waterfront.

"Be _good_." Wanda warned, her words lingering as Timmy and Tootie turned to each other and scowled.

Folding her arms across her chest, Tootie cast a contemptuous look at Timmy and her surroundings. Her purple eyes scrutinized the room and sought an easily accessible escape. There was only one and chances were, her temper would rise and she'd be shaking too badly to exit through it.

Timmy's azure eyes followed her gaze and he glowered. While he appreciated Wanda's attempt to reconcile them, he personally thought it futile. Tootie was a bitch, plain and simple. The apple never fell far from the tree and all that. Anyone related to Vicky was bound to have a cruel streak.

"Another mess you've gotten me into, _Turner_," Tootie growled, glaring. The first had landed them a week's worth detentions, but at least there were no authority figures to punish them here, none she could see. Still, she was alone in a strange, magical place with her crush, whom she'd desperately pretended not to like. The disadvantages outweighed the advantages here.

"_Me_? Maybe if _you_ hadn't shot off your mouth, we wouldn't be in this mess!" Timmy snapped, jumping to his feet and pointing a finger at her accusingly. _You jezebel. You heathen..._

"_Me_? _I_ shoot off my mouth? Well, maybe if you weren't more useful to humanity dead than alive, I wouldn't find your living face so repugnant, I'd snap! Tell me, Turner, how many mirrors have you broken today by looking in them?" She sneered.

"And how many condoms have _you_ broken today? Oh, wait, you don't need them for oral." His eyes narrowed in disdain. Whatever Wanda was smoking, he'd need some too because he honestly couldn't see her point. Tootie didn't care for him, she _hated_ him. Personally, that was just fine with him. He preferred to hate the whole family.

"Used up your jar of lubricant yet?" She retorted, eyes ablaze. If he could insinuate she was a whore, then she had every right to retaliate. Why on earth had Wanda found it so important to bring her here, anyway? There was no way in hell she'd be able to stop her mouth in time to focus and tell him what she really thought. He infuriated her, especially because she'd put on all that make up and hired all those followers to make him jealous. Of course, being his usual dim self, that hadn't worked at all. He was never going to notice her, other than a bug on his windshield.

"I can't _believe _Wanda thinks you like me!" He exploded. "I mean, I'd rather fuck a dead whore and _you'd_ rather screw all your followers than even _think_ of touching me in an affectionate way."

The color drained from Tootie's face and she clutched her charm bracelet, equipped with a miniature Crimson Chin head. That explained why the fairy had brought her here. She wanted her to finally admit what she'd tried to prove to both of them she'd given up on. Well, if she thought that, she had another thing coming.

"Oh, really? I'd say Chester's a dead whore, but he's not dead. Still, I bet you both bray at the moon on a full moon when you mate. You're both animals, you know that?"

"At least even if I _did_ have sex on a full moon, it wouldn't be like you, trying to figure in when you can give what guy a blowjob at what time. So many guys, so little time." Both fists curled and she hissed, trying to restrain her overwhelming urge to punch that smug, bastardly face. Of course, if she'd simply _stopped insulting him_, he might not find it necessary to outdo her, but right now, the part of her brain controlling logic had joined her fists. All she could think of was pounding the crap out of him. Then maybe he'd shut up.

"The only reason you'd want me is to add me to your repertoire. Another notch on your bra."

"By _your_ reasoning, I'm such a slut that my bra's full of holes. I guess that'd make it too torn to wear, wouldn't it?" She smirked. A surge of adrenaline ran through her. Her mouth and her brain were officially disconnected again.

"I'd let you check, but you know, you might get _girl_ cooties. I'm contagious, aren't I? I get the cruelness from my sister and whatever else from everyone else. I'm a walking trap.

"And that's why you'd rather check out Trixie Tang for the umpteenth time. Because although she's a shallow, vain, _poor_ bitch, she'd never lie to your face. Oh, wait, she _has._ But you'd never give me a second look because I'm just like Vicky. Isn't that right?"

Timmy's brain, naturally, had never been attached too strongly to his mouth. If she could blurt things out, so could he. (Since when had blurting things out become a conscious decision?) At any rate, he plunged onward, ignoring any hurt feelings. Sensitivity was, much like thinking, never a strong suit for young, brash Timmy Turner.

"You _are_ just like Vicky. It wouldn't surprise me at all if you two were in cahoots, planning to make my life more miserable. It probably spices up your boring life."

"Like screwing Chester," She snapped, but her voice had lost its edge. Getting him and her together had been a bad idea, but would Wanda listen? Of course not. She thought she could turn her godson's head. Tootie knew better. Timmy would sooner die or do any number of those things he'd threatened than change his mind on her. This was pointless.

"I'm not gay...but what does that matter to you? You'll never get me anyway." He jeered and this time, her fist uncurled. She wasn't going to punch him, no, because however tempting that was, one never started out that way. Instead, Tootie slapped him hard across the face, leaving a pink imprint. He was surprised to see her eyes were shining with tears. He stared, taken aback. Why on earth would she be crying? He was just telling the truth. Unless Wanda had been right about her still liking him...

Through gritted teeth, she snapped, "_Why_ are you such a dick, Timmy Turner? Even when I accidentally told you I loved you, you acted like I was supposed to have matured past that. You think I can just let go of love, like it's a plaything. Heaven help us if _you_ fall in love, because you'll probably get bored of her and find another toy. Wanda wasted her time bringing me here. You don't care about anyone but yourself."

Glowering, she pivoted on her heel and stormed out, but something held her back. Timmy's hand was tight on her upper shoulder and when she struggled to extract it, he only strengthened his grip. Within a few moments, it was painful. What, he wanted to hurt her both emotionally and physically now? That only cemented her opinion of him.

"I _do_ care about people. I care about Wanda-"

"She's a fairy. She's not a person," Tootie corrected, dripping contempt. "There's a difference."

"Are you going to let me get this out or are you going to act like you hate me?" He retorted, squeezing her arm yet harder. She cried out.

"Now," Timmy continued, ignoring Tootie, kicking him in the shin and fixing him a nasty look, "can I continue?"

Fairly convinced she wouldn't leave now, he released his grip on her arm and she rubbed it, working the feeling back. Why had today involved them hurting each other in various ways? And apparently, he'd never learned a gentleman never hurts a lady (although, come to think of it, Cosmo couldn't have been much of a gentleman). Still, while he had her stuck here, she ought to listen until she figured a way out.

"I noticed you. I couldn't help but notice you, surrounded by every single guy in the freaking' school. Even if I _tried_ to get near you, someone always shoved me away. You were always nasty anyway, so I figured you'd given up on me. I'm not an idiot-"

"I beg to differ," Tootie muttered, continuing to rub her sore arm. She really hoped that slap hurt like hell, because her arm ached.

"Besides, you're related to Vicky, so why should I try to pursue you anyway?"

"Oh, please. That's the oldest excuse in the book. It's complete b.s. If I were anything like Vicky, I'd have you on your back and stand on it while you did push-ups. I'd be screaming in your ear what chores I want you to do. I _love _you, Timmy, I don't hate you. Only someone that hates you would be like her.

"But if you're going to give up on me so easily, then maybe it's _me_ that's too good for _you_." Holding her head high, she tried to saunter out, but his arms wrapped around her waist. Her knees buckled and badly, she wanted to fall back into him. Goddamn it...why did she have to be in love with him after all that? What was _wrong_ with her?

Experimentally, wondering if he'd lost any semblance of sanity, he spun her around and kissed her lightly on the lips. The impulse had struck him and he'd acted on it. Later, he'd realize there was a small pink fairy, eyes narrowed and weary of the arguing, floating outside the window with her wand poised. However, he didn't know that just yet. All he knew was that when he kissed Tootie, his heart skipped a few dozen beats and joy surged through him. Nothing else mattered.

Sometimes, Juandissimo found her terribly amusing, like how she'd thrown herself whole heartedly into helping her former godson, yet refrained from helping herself. To thine own self be true, as Hamlet had once said, yet he doubted she ascribed to that particular phrase. If she had, she would have found some way to move on and live again. Maybe he was asking too much of her, but she emanated such a cheery glow, all he desired was to be near her again. For thousands of years, he'd trailed after her, not because he'd failed to understand how hopeless it was, but because he didn't care. Wanda exuded everything he desired and then some.

He almost wished it hadn't happened, though, because seeing Wanda miserable, now turning away from the window and the happiness of the two humans inside, was more than he could bear. She hung her head dejectedly, not noticing him for, unlike usual, he remained incognito, gazing at her from afar as a flower. Her beautiful pink eyes clung to loneliness and despair like an infant to their mother. Shedding her misery would be like one shedding a security blanket; she knew it was needed, but she hesitated to do so. For now, she was too immured in her past hurts and pains to dig herself out.

When creatures were alone, as anyone could tell you, their innermost thoughts and desires were center stage. She'd revealed herself to Timmy, but it wasn't quite the same thing. However, discovering the truth for herself and being told it were two different matters; she struggled now to ascertain whether he'd given her anything useful. The concept Cosmo had been responsible for what had transpired, that she was the victim, was difficult at best to swallow. Blaming herself had its advantages, least of which was the idea she could change things. It distressed her indeed to know she couldn't.

Pivoting in mid-air, she reached for a flower, perhaps to casually tear the petals off in reflection, when she halted. Pink eyes narrowed in outrage and she yanked him up by the roots, quite painfully, he might add. While he hadn't witnessed her crying fits or any other bouts of emotion, she probably thought he impeded on her solitude. Still, the only way to truly study her was to observe her from afar, which although was the truth, hardly made a very sturdy argument.

"Good afternoon, mi amor," Juan purred, stretching for his wand only to find, much to his chagrin, it lay among the actual flowers, magically produced (what would take root in clouds?). Ah, well, he'd play it cool anyway. He might not have his wand, but he possessed his charm and good looks, albeit obscured slightly by the fact he was a flower and not a fairy.

"How long have you been staring at me?" Wanda snapped, pointing her wand at him. He winced, mentally protesting- she had a wand, he had not. Therefore, she had the advantage while he remained in a form easily trampled underfoot.

"Why will you not blame Cosmo for his transgressions?" Juandissimo retorted, answering her question with another. Besides, it'd take her mind off the fact he'd technically been spying on her and Timmy. Dreadful though it was, sometimes, she could be easily distracted. It was a thing she and Cosmo sadly had in common.

He was surprised to discover her fidget and accidentally drop him, permitting him to sweep the cobblestones and graciously regain his wand. With one flick of the wrist, he restored himself to his former glory and gave her a curious look, wondering how she'd manage to weasel her way out of this one. More than likely, he'd find himself at the receiving end of the same line she'd given Timmy, but he sympathized much less with Cosmo than her godson. Cosmo meant _nothing _to him, less than nothing, in fact, and his life mattered only as long as it ended remarkably soon. Timmy hadn't pressed the issue, but _he _would. Why should she carry a burden that was not hers? Why should she bear the grief her ex had caused? The whole notion infuriated him.

"Because," she offered feebly, "I could have done something-"

"_What_ would you have done, Wandita? Would you have imbued him with more brains? Would you have transformed into a vixen, beguiling him with your charms? If he did not see fit to admire you as you are, what chance did you have?

"_You _did not cheat on yourself. Cosmo committed adultery; he thought nothing of you and only of himself. While I cannot understand his reasoning (nor do I ever wish to), I must urge you, mi amor, to _stop blaming yourself. _You are the victim, si? Victims are usually (not always) blameless."

His words reached silence- Wanda clutched her wand to her chest; her mouth fell agape and she blinked a few times, finding nothing to reply with. In fact, her mind was curiously blank. She'd forgotten what it was like to contend with someone that had the possibility of not only knowing how she thought, but knowing it so well he could outwit her. It was rather disconcerting, to tell the truth.

"But-but," she stammered, discovering unhappily the excuses fleeing her. "I could have _done _something…"

"_What_ would you have done? Would you have jumped him, shook him until his brains splattered onto the floor, and then screamed some sense into him? In case you have not noticed, mi amor, he is a moron. Nothing could have drilled anything into his head, nothing. So _stop _blaming yourself because you will not be happy with the results."

She retreated, startled to discover absolute truth in his words. Instead of the comfort one might suppose she'd take from finally realizing the truth, it felt as though the air had suddenly sucked her up into a vacuum. She felt faint, and not just from transporting two humans. Blaming herself had, in her mind, helped her cope with the grief. Now she had nothing to claim as a defensive mechanism. The color drained from her face rapidly as she continued to retreat.

Juan frowned, puzzled. Blindly, he reached out for her, but she vanished in thin air. The only way she would accept the truth was hearing it from the horse's mouth. It was time, for the first time in months, to visit her ex husband.

* * *

The wind had long whispered his name, like a phantom designed solely to twist a wedge into her heart. Before Juandissimo and Timmy had cornered her, the absolute last thing she wanted to do was talk with Cosmo again. Seeing him tore her heart straight out of her chest. That was why she'd fled before- seeing him made her feel, to put it quite bluntly, like shit.

She arrived now just as her father left, pointing his wand at Cosmo threateningly. The green haired fairy whimpered, curling into a ball. It didn't take a genius to figure out Big Daddy had delivered an ultimatum, doubtlessly telling him the date and time he'd die. If she weren't so damn mixed up, enraged with Cosmo and the whole situation, she might have cared. As it were, she merely cast her father a cool glance before floating near him, head buried near his knees and pressed against Timmy's bedposts. A thousand nasty remarks shot through her mind and she desperately attempted to prevent them from escaping (she wasn't nasty), but, of course, one did anyway. It was futile to fight herself.

Glowering at first at him and then at the fishbowl, what little color remaining in her face drained swiftly. He still slept in their castle. He, he might be screwing her counterpart in that bed. He didn't give a damn at all! Fury surged through her and she barely restrained the nearly overwhelming urge to punch his face in.

"Some things never change," She snapped, causing Cosmo's head to lift up in surprise.

"Someone was screwed over here months ago and look, she even has my name. Don't you have any shame, Cosmo?" Though her tone was cold as ice, her body trembled badly. She regretted her rash decision to flee Juandissimo- his defense might have been useful. There was no one here to back her up.

"Wanda!" Cosmo cried joyfully, springing up and embracing her. In the past, she might have hugged him back, perhaps kissed him deeply, but now, disgust filled her. He was sucking up.

"You can keep Big Daddy from killing me!" He cheered, mindless of the glowing, hot wand pressed against his chest and driving them apart. Cosmo squealed, gazing down at his chest, where a large star shaped brand had appeared. In her mind, she saw it consume him, engulf his body and end her pain. Revenge might not be the best thing, but thoughts of it kept her sane right now.

Wordless (but whimpering again), he ran his fingers over the wound she'd given him and floated before her. Slowly, wheels began to click in that dim little head of his. Wanda wasn't there to protect him; if anything, it was the opposite. And two plus two started to add up. She wasn't here to protect him because he'd harmed her.

"Do you know _why_ my father wants you dead? Do you know _why_ I went into exile? Do you have any brain cells in that head or is it just dead air!" Wanda thundered, hair turning to flames. Cosmo cowered, terrified. Wanda angry was not a scene for the faint hearted. Jorgen had been known to fear her when she went into fits of rage.

Struggling to contain her fury, the windows shattered, shards landing all over him. He screamed and, instead of feeling pity, which perhaps she should have felt, she snickered. Something inside her felt _lighter_. The burden was loosening somewhat. He was in pain...and that satisfied her.

Slightly calmer, she said, watching him coolly, "Hurts, doesn't it? I suppose you wouldn't know anything about pain, though. If you did, you might have tried to rethink your actions and spared me.

"Once upon a fairy tale, I _loved_ you. Deeply and truly, I loved you. I would have done anything for you and I _thought_ you felt the same. I _thought_ you would have laid your life on the line for me...because I would have killed for you. I-" Tears consumed her vision and she swallowed hard, destroying Timmy's V-Cube inadvertently thanks to another emotional magical outburst.

Shutting her eyes and forcing the tears to abate, albeit temporarily, she whispered, "I don't even want to know why you cheated on me, Cosmo. I mean, I'd love to know why you stopped loving me, but I want to bury the past _and you._ I want to forget the fairy that turned me into this twisted creature and try to move on, if that's possible. (And, at this point, I'm not sure it is...).

"I just want to know the answer to one question and then whatever happens to you, I don't care. Timmy can call me if he needs me and that's about as far as I'll be involved with you. Otherwise, I want...I want to be _free_ from you."

Voice strangely soft, she murmured, "You understand, don't you?":

Terrified, confused, and at all once transfixed, Cosmo managed a weak nod. He had nothing intelligent to add and, even if he did try to defend himself, she might see through the facade. There was nothing useful he could say and, for once in his life, he kept blissfully silent. It was the only thing Wanda needed to plunge onward.

"_Is _this my fault, Cosmo? Did I-did I lead you astray? Did I make you cheat because I wasn't pretty enough? Because I wasn't everything you wanted? Because you fell out of love with me? Was that why you fell out of love with me, because you wanted something I couldn't offer?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat, rubbing her eyes furiously, she whispered, "Why did you stop loving me, Cosmo?"

"It's not your fault..." Cosmo whispered and, before he could hope to continue, she vanished into thin air. His words were the last thing she needed. While she hoped for the answers to her questions, she wasn't nearly brave enough to discover them for herself. For now, there were creatures above who cared about her; maybe with their help, she could safely bury the past and place it safely where it belonged, six feet under.

* * *

When Timmy told her weeks later Cosmo had vanished and never returned, he seemed strangely detached. She said nothing, assuming Big Daddy had extracted his revenge. Like she'd thought before, she personally cared little anymore for what happened to him. What was done was done...and now, it was over with.

Juandissimo hadn't tried to push her, much to her surprise. He oddly understood her silences, her unwillingness to spend vast amounts of time in public or even with others. He merely shook his head and departed, hoping tomorrow would bring a better day. She hoped so too, but, slowly, she found her outlook improving slightly.

Tootie and Timmy were officially a couple, thanks to her magic and teen hormones. She smiled bitterly, remembering her own young love and how that turned out. All she could offer him was advice, sprinkled heavily with sorrow. Usually, after seeing them together, she found an excuse to leave. Both understood and didn't push her. One fairy could take only so much...

* * *

They sat together on the roof of her apartment and gazed up at the stars, brilliant without the human pollution. Juandissimo sat apart from her, offering him a weak smile. She was trying, she really was. It would take time, though, lots of it. That was all right...he could wait until the end of the world for her.

Gingerly, he placed a stray curl behind her ear and smiled, admiring her. While she no longer donned her robes nor her yellow shirt (instead, she wore an entirely black ensemble), he still saw the inner light he'd always been attracted to. She hadn't extinguished it, merely placing it in hiding for the rain to stop and the rainbow to cover the sky with its beauty.

Swallowing hard, she shifted slightly to peer curiously at him. "I wanted to thank you for all that you've done. You went above and beyond...and I appreciate it..."

Turning her head again, she was stunned to find his hands on either side of her face as he forced her to make eye contact with him. His hands were pleasantly soft, to boot. She smiled weakly again.

"I did it because I love you. And I will wait for you until we crumble to dust..."

Nodding weakly, she, shaking, kissed him lightly on the lips. "Thank you, Juandissimo..."

Hugging her tightly, resting his cheek against hers, he murmured, "There is no need to thank the messenger..."

Nor was there any more need for words. What were words but a distraction? They only hurt you...and Wanda had had enough. With more confidence than before, she leaned in to kiss him and they shared the stars together...finally free...

* * *


End file.
